Learning to Love Your Inner Critic

Every one of us has an inner critic. Your inner critic is the voice inside your head that can be overly critical, judgmental, and often, unrelenting. Your inner critic's voice is based on past experiences, societal norms and expectations and learned behaviours.

Your inner critic is often born out of a desire to protect you. It’s a defence mechanism. It remembers every time you failed, were rejected, or felt embarrassed and it never wants you to feel that way again. Instead of viewing it as an enemy, you can start to see it as a misguided protector—one that needs guidance and compassion.

It might seem counterintuitive to think about loving your inner critic as it seems to point out every flaw, doubt your capabilities, and magnifies every mistake you make. But, learning to love your inner critic can be transformative for your wellbeing.

Acknowledge Its Purpose and Intent

When you hear its voice knocking you back or knocking you down, remind yourself that it is trying to protect and help you. By acknowledging this intention, you can begin to soften your resistance to it.

Listen With Curiosity

When you hear the voice of your inner critic, listen with curiosity and an open mind. Ask yourself why it's being so harsh and what it's afraid of. This can give you insights into your deeper fears and insecurities. Consider past experiences that it is recalling. Try to remember how you overcame these and what lessons you learned.

Reframe Its Message from Critical to Supportive

Instead of letting your inner critic drag you down, constructively reframe its message. For example, if it says, “You are not good enough,” reframe this as, “I’m growing and learning, and I will keep getting better every day.”

Turn Criticism into Reflection and Growth

Use your inner critic’s voice as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Instead of letting it hold you back, allow it to help you to reflect, learn, and grow. Let it's reminder of past experiences serve as a reminder of what you've learned, how you overcame challenges, and how you can continue to grow.

By learning to love your inner critic, you can cultivate self-acceptance, resilience, and greater emotional wellbeing. Instead of resenting your inner critic, learn to love it and live with it in harmony.